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We Never Know (demo)

by Mai Khôi and the Dissidents

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about

I received the backing track for “We Never Know” from my songwriting partner Mark Micchelli right after I learned that my friend, Diego Chula, had just died. I was shocked when I got the news because he was still so young and healthy. He was a very important person to me and to many Vietnamese people; after I was banned from singing in Vietnam, Diego was one of the few people brave enough to offer me a place to continue performing underground.

As a Buddhist, I think about death just like light, like the clouds, like the air. We have to breathe the air every day, just like we have to accept everything that comes to us in this life, including death. When I wrote lyrics about Diego, it helped me to transfer my pain in a meaningful way and accept his death more easily.

I couldn’t come back to Vietnam to see Diego one last time, but I hope this small offering will bring our spirits to another meeting.

lyrics

Một người bạn của tôi vừa đi xa mất rồi
Một nụ cười hiền lành vừa tan tan cuối trời
Những tiếc nuối thương tâm đem đốt ra thành tro
Những quá khứ với tương lai đang nối nhau về đâu

Có tiếng nói tiếng hát trong ánh sáng ngũ sắc
Biết thế biết thế biết vô thường sao ta cứ rớt nước mắt
Những ảo ảnh lo âu đan nối nhau nhảy nhót 
Bao người thân người thương đang khóc than vì anh

Where do we go?
We never know
Where do we go?
We never know
Where do we go?
We never know
When will we go?
We never know

Từ trên trời xuống
Nhìn thế gian cười
Lặng hôn mặt đất
Cùng trái tim lành

Mùa đông vừa đến 
Người đã đi rồi
Nhìn mây lặng lẽ
Một đấng ân tình

****

A friend of mine just moved away 
An innocent smile melted at the horizon
Regrets and sorrows burned to ashes
Where the pasts and futures go

Voices sing in the iridescent light
Knowing impermanence, why do we keep shedding tears?
Anxieties and illusions dance together
The loved ones cry for you

Where do we go?
We never know
Where do we go?
We never know
Where do we go?
We never know
When will we go?
We never know

Down from the sky
Watched the world smile
Silently kissed the ground
With a loving heart

Winter has just arrived
You have just died
I look at the cloud silently
A benefactor

credits

released March 13, 2022
Music by Mai Khôi and Mark Micchelli
Lyrics by Mai Khôi

Mai Khôi - vocals
Ben Barson - bari sax
Mark Micchelli - keyboard
Eli Namay - bass
Hugo Cruz - drums

Recording by Alexis Jabour at City of Asylum
Mixing and Mastering by Alex Lough

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Mai Khôi and the Dissidents Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The American iteration of Mai Khôi and the Dissidents is an eclectic and experimental jazz-ish quintet that’s as likely to launch into a noisy protest song or collective improvisation as a lullaby or love ballad.

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